Three Lives Three Worlds // Intricate turns of love

How complicated, this thing called love. She often did not understand it......

I always wonder is there even such thing called fate, then why do we even bother to chase after love? Life in itself is so contradictory, thinking about it just makes my head hurt most of the time. If there's a predetermined soulmate for us in this world, then technically our choices in life will lead us to our soulmate.But how do we know that we choose the right choices? Then can we defy fate? Anyway reading this simple but  delightful novel just makes me feel so utterly helpless, 

Anyway, I would definitely recommend three live three worlds The pillow book to everyone who likes to read an engaging love story that revolves around fate, destiny. reincarnation, etc. The female and male protagonists are definitely so well written that you can't help but be attached to them. Their conversations are witty and fun to read, unlike other sappy love stories. There's a nice balance of romance, comedy, and melancholic sentiments that are all weaved together beautifully. After reading lost you forever, I was craving for a similar chinese novel and although I would say it is not as breathtaking as lost you forever, it is definitely a much light hearted read. After being blown away by reading the first few translated chapters of Hua Xu Yin, I was already captivated by the writers' voice that I hated myself for not being able to read chinese because the translation is only available until chapter 8. And google translating the rest of the novels was like doing an injustice to the book so I stop and deeply hope that a kind soul would translate the rest of the chapters. However, after my initial disappointment, I came across this book while researching for more novels written by Tang Zi Gong Zi. Thankfully, this novel was so much better than what I initially expected.


All I can say is that even if the story itself is average or borderline shitty, I would still keep on reading the book because the characters are just so captivating. The storyline also flows seamlessly, there's just enough zest in each chapters to push you to keep on reading. The writing style is not as poetic or heart wrenching or polished as Tong Hua's writing especially in lost you forever but it is definitely a much more amusing read.
The male lead, gah, how i love the thick skinned male lead in this novel. He's name is Donghua Dijun and was described as the epitome of perfection in this novel. He exudes the regal and dignified aura of a king with a solemn and calm disposition. Despite his looks and fame, there's no trace of arrogance in his demeanour, in fact he could care less about reputation. His not overly kind or overly mean, he just acts naturally and with a frank attitude even to Fengjiu. It's indeed perplexing how this fantasy novel can have characters that are dreamy and yet realistic at the same time. I was pondering if this was made into a drama, who would be casted to portray this captivating character. He's just to out-of-this-world that I thought that no one can do him justice and he might as well just lay in our imagination. Anyways, I changed my mind after coming across a photo of my beloved Hu Ge and Liu Shi Shi. Without further ado, i casted the both of them as the main leads for this book.

To be slightly shameless was one thing, but to be as shameless as Donghua was a different thing altogether. 

_______//_______

Fengjiu, as a character, is also as amazing as Donghua. Usually, I get easily irritated with female characters who chase after their love with intense persistence because I believe that love should come naturally. And yet Fengjiu converted my belief, or it made me believe, that there's nothing wrong with chasing after love afterall. One of the aspect I like about her is that she knows how to stop, how to back away, and how to let go; unlike other female characters when they realized that their loved one can't love them back and they turn that into immense hatred. I mean that's real life isn't it, those we love might not be able to love us and vice versa. I really like how we first saw Fengjiu in her calm  and carefree demeanor representing the Queen of QingQiu, Similar to Donghua, she could care less about fame and thank goodness she's not one of those overly kind/innocent female leads. She's fierce as well as witty when she wants to and when the situation calls for it. She doesn't try to act "heroic" but she's helpful to those in need. There's a nice balance of maturity and innocence in her character that made it believable that she is afterall still is a young deity. It's so easy to symphatize with her character especially when she's heart broken.

She and Donghua, as the Buddhists put it, were an impossibility. But perhaps ‘impossibility’ was an inaccurate term. Theirs was more of a cursed fate. 

There were such things as these intricate turns in love. Without understanding these winding turns, she showed up at Taichen Palace wanting to win over Donghua with merely her courage. Naturally she failed, and only today did she find out there existed such underlining principles as these.

Enamored by beautiful things, people often did not feel the passage of time. By the time they turned back to look, what had passed would always seem too short. 

_______//_______

Fengjiu still remembered how bright and full the moon was that night. Stepping on its reflection made her feel as though she was dragging her feet through the river of fate. That river was deep and round, as though it had wanted to drown her. 

She dazedly stared at the damaged fragments. When she looked up again, the purple silhouette had retreated far away from her field of vision, fading gradually behind the dancing curtain of white Fulings. 

They were so close, she thought, and yet he saw her not. 

But what had Donghua done wrong? He never knew she was Fengjiu of Qingqiu. He never knew she loved him. He couldn't have known the sacrifices she made and the efforts she put into having him either. They just weren't fated. Love couldn't be achieved from efforts alone. She knew this, and knew they weren't meant to be, but she was still overwhelmed with regrets. Questions and answers filled her mind... they were from the dialogue between her strong self and her weak self. 

“Are you sad to say goodbye?”

“What is there to be sad about? We'll surely meet again one day.”

“Even if that day comes, you'll never look at him with these feelings again.”

“I've already tucked away everything that's important into my memory. Wouldn't it be his lost to lose my love? He should be the one feeling sad.”

For some reason, teardrops nevertheless fell from her eyes onto the Fuling petals on her paws. Despite herself, she turned around once more. Through teary eyes, still only scattered petals filled the sky. The boundless landscape was at a standstill with silence. She gazed at the petals in her paws again and again, then curled herself within 

Siming's arms and faintly fingered a question: “Will everything be alright from now on?” He stopped for what felt like an eternity. His hand again crossed rightful boundaries to soothe her forehead as he replied her, 

“Yes, Your Highness, everything will be okay.” 

.........

She didn't know if anguish had numbed away the injuries she sustained or not, be it on her body or mind, but her heart strangely did not ache this time. 

_______//_______

300 years later.. 

Donghua placed his long slender fingers on the light blue porcelain cup. They glistened in the reflected sunlight on the lid. His indifferent eyes lingered on Fengjiu’s stained sleeves. Then they moved up to her flushed face which was crimson from choking coughs. Her face was almost the same shade as the maple leaves.

As she recovered, a smile gradually displayed on her face. It wasn't natural, but it was still a smile. She said with hollow politeness, “I didn't know you were here, Your Majesty. How careless of me. I'm Fengjiu of Qingqiu, please accept my greetings.”

He leaned his cheek on his palm and wondered whether she’d try to flee. Sure enough, she offered him her trademark expression which was a mix of regret, respect, and politeness, while masking her joy in saying goodbye. “How careless of me to have spilled the tea. What a mess I am right now. I hope you'll excuse me first. I'll come and discuss religions with you on another day.” 

Donghua listened to her greeting and gazed up to stare at her for a while. He waited for her to finish bowing her head and sat back down before he nonchalantly asked, “Were you that surprised to see me?”

Her every step was perfectly calculated. She seemed genuinely surprised as she moved her lips to offer him her distant polite smile again. “I can hardly believe I would get to see you again. Words can't describe how overjoyed I am. But you are disapproving of me.” 

The wind brought with it the perfume of white lotuses. Donghua raised his eyes and gave her the larger teapot as he casually said, “One teacup was nothing; you might as well use this. The tea has cooled when I last held it. Spill all of this on yourself again, that’s what would be called a true mess.” 

“...” 

_______//_______

This memory didn't have a single drop of tear. Instead, it was a sublime blade that was both terribly cold and terribly heavy. When it took away a person's life, it was unhesitatingly swift. Aranya's injury had been very quiet, her pain had been very quiet, and even her death had been very quiet.

 “I cannot banish my sorrowful longing, so there is no point in hastening it away. The many changes in this ephemeral existence, are but predetermined fate at play. This sorrow and grief, this worry and fear, all shall in due course go on their way.” 

_______//_______

Donghua leaned on his palm and quietly looked at Fengjiu who was standing with her sword in hand. Since the day he was born from the Blue Sea and climbed the mountain of skeletons until now, there were numerous of those who came to ask for his protection, but he never thought there would be someone who wanted to protect him. 'Protection' mentioned alongside his name was but a laughable jest. But right here right now within the petal rain, the fragile young queen from Qingqiu was fencing her thin blade against a much more formidable monster to protect him. This was certainly an interesting surprise for Dijun. 

“I just happened to be taking a walk. When I saw that you were bullied, I just happened to help you out again. Little did I know I was being fooled.” She picked up her pace and walked away.

Donghua's voice unhurriedly carried on behind her: “You're leaving without taking me along?” 

“I'm injured. Can you leave me here and be at ease?”

“Yes,” Fengjiu nodded candidly. 

“Very much so,” 

“You...”

“It seems you're not that at ease.” 

“Pardon me for my ignorance. You seem so comfortable, I really can't see where exactly your royal body is injured.” 

he stepped closer to him and remarked in excitement, “There's a gold pigment in the red color, how appropriate for being Your Majesty's blood. From what I read, a bowl of this blood is worth 1800 years of immortal cultivation. I wonder if this is true?”

Donghua raised a brow at her and let out a sigh. “Normally in this scenario, your first thought should be on how to stop my bleeding.” 

"...It isn’t as if this is the first time you've lied to me. I bet this injury is merely an eye-masking sorcery; do you think I'm stupid?” 

"...You are getting smarter these days. Except your childhood teacher never taught you the most basic lesson in sorcery. Eye- masking magic involving blood can only fool humans; it cannot fool the immortals.” 

“... Then, this wound is real?” 

“But there are many heroes I know, my uncle-in-law for example, no matter how grave his injuries are, he always tries his best to hide them from my aunt. My father, too, never lets Mother know of his injuries. Even the flamboyant Zheyan quietly hides from little uncle whenever he gets hurt. But your action is something I've never quite encountered.”

Donghua casually watched her as she clumsily wrapped his wound and patiently explained to her: “Ah, that's because compared to them, I'm a weak hero.”
“...” 

_______//_______

It was as if she felt her smile had been improper. While no one was looking, she softly bit her lower lip, then swept a glance as though she was afraid someone had seen it. Because her lips were luscious, the light bite left a pale indentation that gradually flushed pink again like an ivory pistil in early winter. 

Propping his chin on his palm, he suddenly felt that if he must pick a queen, Fengjiu wasn't a bad choice.

He froze for a moment when this idea came to him. Then he gave it careful consideration.

No, it couldn't be said that she was not bad. Rather, it must be said that in this whole world, she was the only suitable one. In other words, she was the only one he could ever like. 

When his thoughts drifted to this point, he realized the meaning behind his recent actions. It turned out he was thinking about this matter in such a way, thinking about her in such a way. It turned out he liked her. 


But why out of thousands of people did he only like Fengjiu? He thought about it for a long while and at last concluded it was because he had good vision. Because his sight was keen, he was able to discover her – a diamond in the rough. He wanted to like her, and so he did. To say that his feelings came easily would be true, but to say they didn't come easily wasn't wrong either. 


Fengjiu wasn't necessarily the most beautiful, but fate was funny that way. All the beauties, no matter how alluring, were never able to leave an impression on him. Only her, whether her smile, whether her frown, whether her embarrassment, even when she made a face at him, he remembered it all. Each image was crystal clear in his mind. Liansong said she was the baby fox in the past. It was good if she was. But if she wasn't, it made no difference to him. 

_______//_______

“My wound reopened when I carried you home.” Then he proceeded to study her face.
“You're being absurd, I'm not that heavy!” Fengjiu protested.

Dijun remained quiet for a second, then told her, “I think what you should be concerned about is my injured hand, not your bodyweight.”

With the fish creel in her hand, she stepped in for a closer look. “Oh, then why is your hand so weak?”

“...Because you're too heavy.”

Fengjiu's temper flared. “But that's absurd, when am I ever heavy?” 

What opera was Dijun reenacting now? She carefully lifted her eyes and caught his calm patient gaze. “There's a tangled lock. Xiao Bai, didn't you comb your hair when you woke up?”

The conversation veered too quickly. This was the second time he called her Xiao Bai. Fengjiu's face reddened as she stammered, “Y...you... don't know anything. It's the fashion this year.”

_______//_______

But Fengjiu felt she herself wasn't an aspiring person either, and couldn't help but sympathize with Zhi'he. “To be honest, if I was Zhi'he, I'd also feel that I don't need to learn anything because you are already there.”

The wind carried with it apricot blossoms from afar. The petals drifted above her head. While preventing her hair from being blown in the wind, she heard Donghua's voice: “You? You're different, Xiao Bai.” Fengjiu looked up in surprise and caught his gaze. Dijun quietly looked at her for a moment. “I'm a little thirsty from all this talking. I'll go brew some tea. Take this time to practice.”

“...”

“You wanted some?” “...” 

_______//_______

One should never respond normally in dealing with Dijun. She must stay cool and unruffled.
Fengjiu lay still and let Dijun's hand remain on her swollen shoulder. “I'm awake,” she said woodenly.

In the candlelight, Donghua looked at her awhile, withdrew his hand and whipped the paste from the porcelain bowl to apply on her shoulder. “Good, then unbutton your collar. I can't reach your back shoulder.”

How could he keep his face straight while asking her to unbutton her clothes? Baffled for a length of time, Fengjiu at last pulled the bedcover all the way up to her chin, turned her back to him, and said, “I'm going back to sleep.” 

As she was about to push again, the hold at her waist suddenly tightened, pulling her entire being against his body. She started and let out a cry. Just as she detected a smile flashing in his dark eyes, her mouth was instantly invaded by a softness. Her head boomed, shocked to realize it was his tongue.

His placid eyes seemed to be lit with moonlight. He continued to harass her tongue; she didn't know to what extent he intended to push her, vaguely feeling that this wasn't the way to go. She began to move her rigid tongue and sensed Xize stiffen. Feeling encouraged, she clumsily entwined Xize's tongue wanting to force him back. Xize watched her fixedly, coordinating his actions with hers to let her crush against his tongue until she completely entered his mouth. 

_______//_______

-The jealous act -

“Your Majesty, let's get rid of this force field so our friends can come visit us sometimes. It will ease our worry as well as our friends’. A perfect plan, don't you think?” Dijun heeded her suggestion and in that very same night drew another force field over the old one. Jifeng Yuan was now enclosed in an even tighter case. Not only Xiao Yan, even ten Xiao Yans would have a difficult time making a dent in this shield. Thereafter, Donghua became even more taciturn. Why a cold war all of a sudden, Fengjiu couldn't really understand. 

_______//_______

“Dijun... why is it that every time I need him, he's never there for me? There were times when I thought this way. Whenever I was in danger he never appeared. I told myself it was because we aren't fated, but I didn't really believe that. I thought if I worked hard, Heaven would someday be moved. This time, though, I really think if Chen Ye hadn't saved me, I'd have died. I didn't believe we weren't fated before perhaps because I wasn't thoroughly disappointed yet.”

“Then, do you hate him?” Su Moye asked after a long silence.

Fengjiu lowered her palms, gazed to the apricot blossoms under the moonlight, and blinked hard. “Probably not. I just feel weary. Dijun is great, we just aren't meant to be.” 


......

“It really doesn't matter whether I was disappointed or not. It's just that sometimes love needs the presence of fate as well. I spent a lot of time gambling on this fate, but in the end I didn't win. Only recently did I comprehend the tragedy of insisting on a fate which we don't have, and was enlightened quite a bit."

Night was dark and quiet, but she was able to feel Xize's eyes intently fixing on her. “If he now appears in front of you, willl you still doubt that there is fate between the two of you?”

Fengjiu laughed, feeling extremely sleepy now. “The word 'fate' has never existed between the two of us. I've wagered on myself for so long, it's about time to let it go. So you see, whether he appears or not this time wouldn't really make a difference. It would be better if he doesn't come, I don't really want to see him.”

A long time passed before she heard Xize say: “Truly?”

“Truly,” Fengjiu replied in sedateness. 

_______//_______

The tragic tale of Aranya

Rosy lips and ivory skin, with a touch of melancholy. What a pity it'd be for such a beautiful person to be swallowed whole by giant snakes. 

In the middle of the maneuvering, the young woman looked straight into his eyes as a smile appeared on her calm face. “They all tell me an Archmage's blood has the ability to cleanse offensive filth. After receiving Your Excellency's grace today, I wonder whether my blood will be much cleaner now.”

Their blood mingled and winded down their matching palms, the raw scent festering in the air. 

The young man did not show any emotions; neither did he withdraw his hand. “Why are you trying to provoke me? You're not one to mind these sorts of things, especially in such times as this.”

The young woman swept her glance around and replied insouciantly, “I've lived meaninglessly for so many years; I never knew that's the type of

person I'm not.” 

___________

 Aranya leaned over and poured him more tea. “Chen Ye has his own choice in love; it's not his fault that he didn't choose me. Did you think I'd become a hateful villain out of jealousy?” She then said, “Half of the hatred in this world stems from nothing more than the idea itself. I didn't think there was a reason to be resentful. Tonight was an opportunity that hadn't presented itself before. Giving him this romance required little effort on my part. How can we even mention it as generosity?” 
___________

He had acted by instinct when he broke into the stone maze to save her from the Quanyin beast. After he held her and rolled out of the force field,

she whispered into his ear: “You really do like me, Chen Ye.” Holding her in his arms, he saw in her eyes an intelligent brilliance just like the time he taught her to read her name under the moonlight in their childhood. “Ye... Ran...” Her speech was incomplete. Those two incomplete words had perhaps been a harbinger.
He was doomed to fall in love with her. He actually had never ceased to long for her.

___________

'Look at the love to see the lover.' For example, there was the passionate kind of love, the steady kind of love, and also the courteous kind of love. There were people who loved very much but said very little. Then there were people who love verymuch and said just as much. One could not say that someone else's feelings weren't love just because his love was different from one's own.She thought that in the past two years, despite his unfriendly demeanor to Aranya, despite his unconcerned words, perhaps he was the kind of man who loved very much but said very little. His love was exactly the courteous kind of love.

  

He did not speak. He stood up and plucked a small flower from the vase, then slightly bent down and slid it into her hair. He softly caressed her temple, then stopped and pulled away. He picked his book up again, his eyes back onto its pages. In the silence, another page was turned.
She froze for a moment. She touched the flower blossom above her ear and softly said at length, “I sometimes feel that it isn't enough. Then I sometimes feel it's already great with you being this way.”
He raised his gaze again from the pages of his book. “What isn't enough?” he asked in seeming uncertainly. But she just smiled and shook her head.
Dawn rays dyed the small pavilion a color of warmth. Sky and water glided on ceaselessly. The azure pond glistened softly in the morning light. Bursts of lotus fragrance wafted in the air.

 The couple in the pavilion in the memory slowly faded away, leaving only a pale silhouette in the vast landscape.
This silhouette was stirring and even somewhat pitiful to Fengjiu. It would've been great if their tale could forever suspend at this moment in time.


____________

Aranya sat and gazed to the distant scenery beyond the forest as she said, “There's one thing you always say: the ephemeral world and its fleeting life are but an experience. I think that makes a lot of sense. Many experiences equal a long life, fewer experiences equal a short life. I recently realized that my life may seem short, but it could be considered rather long.” 

She raised her hand and brought it to her ear, her fingers briefly brushing her temple then stopped. It was what Chen Ye had done each time he gave her a flower. She was lost in thought. Then a long while later, she smiled to herself. The golden Biyiniao cried its last as she stroked the white flower on her hair and slowly closed her eyes. The giant bird on the river froze into a statue. Only the flames did not cease. The long-haired princess was leaning on her iron bow, her life completely depleted as she entered into an eternity of empty void. The fire did not die until three days later. When it finally extinguished, the princess and her iron bow had been turned to dust, dissolving in the rolling current. 

  

This memory didn't have a single drop of tear. Instead, it was a sublime blade that was both terribly cold and terribly heavy. When it took away a person's life, it was unhesitatingly swift. Aranya's injury had been very quiet, her pain had been very quiet, and even her death had been very quiet. 

______________

The bright moon and stars illuminated the satiny background, their quiet glow shimmering across the Blue Sea. The divine birds perched quietly on the treetops. Soft music flowed from the harp as the red-robed maiden lithely danced to it. Under the moonlight, her long dark hair seemed to be coated with a layer of light. The sleeves concealing her face slowly moved away, revealing a beautiful face behind them. Her fingers came together to form two hibiscuses. When she raised her hands, her sleeves slid down and showed a pair of ivory arms. Her steps were as soft as ripples on a quiet night, and as exquisite as a blooming flower on the water.

Donghua missed a note. He had always known her to be beautiful, but never the sophisticated type. Her beauty was principally in her elegant and sunny demeanor. At this time, he discovered that her elegant face could actually be said to be dazzling. Whenever she wanted to please him, her gaze would so naturally become alluring. Of course he knew who had made her look this way. Even she might not know herself how enticing her gentle gaze could be.

_______//_______

She and Dijun had traveled a very long way. She was chasing after his shadow in the first half of that path so miserably. Luckily, by the grace of Heaven, she finally caught up to him in the second half. From the very beginning, it was she who wanted to have him, so no matter how tiring the chase had been, she hadn't seemed to mind.

This love was so hard to come by that she had always believed she should cherish it. She had in truth minded the fact that he had missed the wedding, but she thought she could pretend as though she wasn't bothered by it. When her grandfather said Donghua and Jiheng was having an affair, her mind suddenly went blank. But even as her mind was blank, she still wanted to believe him. She wanted to at least hear it directly from him.

She had tried so hard. She thought she had given him enough time. If he would only come here, she would believe him no matter what he said. But the person to fall in love first was always the humble one. Hereafter, she'd have to walk this road alone.

She was too tired. She didn't want to have him anymore. 

_______//_______

“Donghua, it hurts. Coax me with something sweet.”

She tried to suppress the sweet tang rising in her throat: “Say you like me.”

He rested his head on her shoulder. She felt her shoulder getting wet as she heard him whisper in her ear: “I love you.”

The dull pain in her chest slowly dissipated and gave rise to an airy feeling through her entire body. She stroked his silver hair and softly replied, “And I you.” Her voice was becoming a little faint, but she didn't forget to remind
him,

 “In a moment when you purify the miasma, you still have to hold onto my hand. We've already agreed. 
Wherever you go, I will follow.” 

She murmured on, “Since I'm the one who loves you best, I must always be by your side.” 

Fuling petals drifted down inside the force
field, ever peacefully, like a never-ending snowfall. 

_______//_______

"Yueling flower, once a snowflake up high. Plucked down, it withered and died. It lived but a moment, perished in the next. When the moon rose it missed the flower. When the flower bloomed it missed the moon. The moon was ignorant of the flower. The flower was ignorant of the moon. Flower lived a fleeting life, flower died a fleeting death.”

When the flower blooms it doesn't see the moon. They never get to meet, a love which is not destined to be. Is this not a tragic tale?”

_______//_______

Thankfully it ends on a happy note. Good day everyone!